ROBOTS
04.8.2010 I have no idea what they are but my website keeps track of the robots that visit my site on a daily basis.
Usually about 60-80 robots show up per day but a couple times I've had like, 400 robots. Last night it was 357. Way more robots like my site than actual people, sadly.
Whenever The Good Doctor is in the room and I'm checking to see how many page views and unique visitors I've had, he goes, "How many robots did you get?"
Or he'll look over my shoulder and go, "Oooh, the robots are active today."
Or, "Your robots are down. What's going on?"
So now we imagine there's a whole robot community reading my blog. Talking about it over robot coffee and robot donuts. In robot voices.
"Be bop be bop, this post is funny. What is a vag?"
"Doot beet, is ox cake made from bull meat?"
"Bizzle boop, her baby is cute. For a human."
Reminds me of this tiny Bloomberg swag gift I got from a journalism convention. It was a microphone keychain that you could record 8 seconds of audio onto. I originally gave it to The Good Doctor with some sappy "I love you and your balls" message on it years ago.
We found it when Emmy was 6 months old and he promptly erased my message, saying it was "inappropriate." Then he recorded his own message for Emmy that we'd play over and over.
"Be bop be bop, Daddy is a robot."
I do love a good robot. Especially the ones that read my blog.
Reader Comments (5)
This is not at all related to robots, but we just have to know...
Were you playing the "meow" game (a la Super Troopers) last night with the Pelosi stalker dude's name? We lost count of the number of times you said "Giusti" (which you TOTES pronounced as "juicy", making it even more hilarious). We couldn't help but picturing the guy behind the camera holding up his fingers with a juicy count.
HOW HOW HOW did you manage to keep a straight face?! We we ere busting up by the 4th or 5th time!
Thanks for keepin it real!
Cheers
Neal
Really? What is a robot? Well i know what a robot is, but what on earth??? I am so confused....
Sarah. I don't even know. It's something from the Internets.
Neal. I haven't watched my live shot but YES FINE I DID SAY JUICY ONCE OR TWICE. No one could tell me how to say the dude's name. Also, it was EFFING COLD. It's very hard to speak when it's cold. I swear. Try it. Try doing a live shot when windchill is 25 degrees. You will say JUICY more times than you want to, I WILL BET YOU!!!
The robots you're referring to are from search engines...they are indexing your site.
AHA! I hope by 'indexing' you mean the Robots are making sure my site becomes widely read and someday allows me to become a professional blogger and best selling author.
Or at least to have bazillions of unique visitors. Human and robot.
Be bop be bop. Thank you, Reader. Doot beet.