Emmy Dandelion
06.20.2011 I huff and I puff and I blow 1/5 of the dandelion down. With cameo appearances by Romeo and Tofu.
We celebrated Cousin Lauren's 8th grade graduation recently and she made lovely flower crowns and necklaces for all the little girls in attendance. I marvel at Lauren's natural kindness and caring and how easily she plays with little kids. She has always been responsible and mature for her age; even at 8 years old I remember her at family gatherings, keeping an eye on all the younger cousins running around and she was so gentle and creative in inventing games to entertain them. I admire that so much in young kids--when they are compassionate and sweet and genuinely nice people. I give much more credit to a kid who has those traits because that means they are inherently good.
Which reminds me of how exactly opposite I was when I was her age. And beyond. Despite my obsession with The Baby-sitters Club books and my perfectly replicated "Stacey" handwriting, my parents would not give into my pleas to post flyers around the neighborhood offering my babysitting services. How hard could it be? Go over, read some books, serve some hot dogs, collect cash money.
So one time, ONE time, they finally let me babysit two boys that lived across the street. I was 12, the boys were 6, and my parents would be 100 yards away, home the entire time. Piece of cheesecake.
Until The Incident. The Incident which involved plastic dinosaurs filled with urine. OLD, STANKY, LITTLE BOY URINE.
All I remember was going into the boys' room and they were like, "You want to see our dinosaur?" Channeling my extensive Baby-sitters Club knowledge, I said, "Sure, little boys. Let's play with your dinosaur."
I reach out to grab it, something SLOSHES inside, and then I feel it. And worse, I smell it. Dark yellow liquid splashes onto my bare wrist, and then onto the off-white carpet. The boys start laughing hysterically and run out of the room. 12 year old Vicky is like, "Oh no you dii'n't just splash PISS all over your babysitter. Homey don't play this."
I remember running after them and making them tell me WHAT WAS IN THE DINOSAUR, BOYS. When I poured the pee into the sink, it was not yellow. It was BROWN. It was prehistoric piss in a plastic dinosaur and it sealed the deal. I never babysat anyone again. No amount of cash money was getting me back in that game.
Congrats on making it through 8th grade Lauren. You're a much better young woman than I was.
Reader Comments (10)
Cute story.
Hilarious... I'd totally let you babysit our future children Vicky, 'cause I know you're a good person deep down... Plus, we believe in the same "Enough" mantra: "Self defense is not murder!" Hee Hee.
Awesome dandelion procedure, Miss Emmy. Levi laughed. I cut together a video of his newish foray into the world of walking. Perhaps Emmy would like to watch it:
http://www.vimeo.com/25298884
Kristin--he is SO cute. How old? What do you shoot with? Great crispy video. That stage is so fun when they just get up from their bums and toddle around. And I love how sweet he is with the dog, and vice versa.
Thank you. He's almost 14 months. He's a near-100th percentile kind of guy.
My husband got me the most awesome pocket snapshot/ video camera on the planet for my birthday. It's a Canon S95. It takes better HD video than our Panasonic SLR and it's way portable.
Kristin--Yes I've heard great things about the Canon S95--does it continually autofocus when you're shooting video or do you have to hold down the button half way to focus like you would with still shots?
Nice work. And yes, I am a firm believer in using the point and shoot as the video cam. Camcorders are so passe now. Sorry to my Canon Vixia, but you're awkward to hold and you're not versatile enough. It's not you, it's me.
It autofocuses continually but it's not without its quirks. Sometimes it just decides not to focus if it doesn't like certain low light situations. Also, when you zoom in while it's recording, you can't zoom out until next time. All in all it's a good little guy, though.
I'd completely forgotten about clover chains!
They're coming back TokenBlogger!
Those little boys had so much fun showing you their dinosaurs Vicky, no doubt about it. I guess their parents had so much difficulty in teaching them disciplinary actions. It’s good that you stopped babysitting already.