Workin' on my Fitness

He's my witness. To put them boys on rock rock. But I'm far from Fergalicious. My noodle arms are so weeeeak typing this post. And that's sad because I can only curl like 10 pound free weights. I'm a shell of my former self. The former self that worked out obsessively everyday in college and couldn't go on vacation unless I knew where the nearest elliptical was. Yes, I was THAT annoying.

My hammies are currently spasming. Over Memorial Day weekend I went back to the gym in earnest for the first time in more than a year. Sure I did a few Zumba classes here and there in the early days when I was pregnant with Emmy but after she came along, and work ramped up, going to the gym went so far on the back burner it was in my neighbor's kitchen.

The Good Doctor is leading the charge. Now that he's passed his exams, he feels so pretty, oh so pretty and witty and gayyyyy! It's a musical pro-duckzhizzle up in here, complete with split leaps and twirling. The doom and gloom of tests are behind him and now it's all about bringing sexy back.

So I can't just sit all Jabba the Hut with my Dibs and iPad after he comes home from the gym complaining he lifted so much he can't straighten his arms. He finally did. 3 days later.

I'm in it to win it. Not to put the boys on rock rock but to improve my chances of hearing Phil Keoghan say, "Vicky and Good Doctor, you are team number ONE!"

P.S. My flexibility is in a sad state of affairs. I used to be able to do the splits three ways. Thank you Taekwondo and cheerleading. Now if I can get them into a 45 degree angle in any direction, it's a miracle. If you see a small Asian woman grimacing in pain and looking like she can't possibly get off that Pilates mat, it's ok. Just leave me be. The muscles will stop spasming at some point.

9 Months

You know how they say, "It took 9 months to put on the weight, give yourself 9 months to take it off?" Well, it's been 9 months. And it ain't off. Not that I actually deserve for it to be gone. I haven't been to a gym in at least 5 months, and that was only because I have a $49 per year, yes YEAR, membership at 24 Hour Fitness that I renew every year because did I mention it's only $49 a year? And that visit to the gym was only because we had just moved closer to a 24 Hour Fitness Express, which is like an itty bitty 24 Hour Fitness where there's no room for step/aerobics/Spinning or any other class. No room except for the small square space in the middle of the gym where you can take your class while everyone else lifts weights and runs on treadmills all around you! Naturally I decided to take a Zumba class and that's where I ran into this lovely man. 

He is the Asian Richard Simmons of Silicon Valley. It took balls to take this picture from my Crouching Tiger position. I'm lucky he didn't see me and kick my ass. I don't doubt for one second he could take me downtown Julie Brown. What I want to know though, what I really really really want to know, is where do you get a tank top like that now that it is no longer 1985?

So anyway, aside from my one, two, three, four, uno, dos, tres, quatro you know you want me, you know I want youuuu experience with Zumba, I have not really had the desire opportunity to exercise much. And now that Emmy is all growed up and literally CRIES at the site of my boobs, that makes two of us honey, I still have these annoying pounds clinging to my person.

Maybe some of those extra lbs will evaporate once the milk juggies dry up, and hopefully perk up. Because I need to get back into fighting shape in case I run into Asian Richard Simmons again.