Sleepover

Emmy has this book called "Moose and Mouse." I think Asian Grandma bought it for a dollar at Target. The gist of the story: what one likes, the other does not. Example--when sleeping, one likes less light, the other likes more.

Emmy and her cousin Jason are like Moose and Mouse. Worked great when Emmy hosted Jason for a sleepover, for "TWO WHOLE DAYS" as he kept saying a couple weekends ago when he and his dad came for a visit (and I went into fake labor.) 

Turns out, Jason sleeps with the door open, and he likes a nightlight. Emmy is used to sleeping in a sealed vault, without any light.

So for the first 20 minutes, we took turns telling one of them to either go back into her bed, or his sleeping bag on the ground. One had to pee. The other had to see what was going on in the bathroom. One had a question. The other had a question about the question. A vicious cycle. The Good Doctor gave them a 5% chance of actually falling asleep in the same room.

At least Jason knew how to use his nighttime whispering voice. Emmy would just talk to him in her daytime regular speaking voice.

After they stopped getting up every 30 seconds to go to the door, we spent the next 30 minutes watching scenes like this play out on the monitor:

Emmy:  "Jason. Jason! Are you awake?"

Jason: "Yes."

Emmy:  "Jason. Jason! Can you open the door?"

Jason: (After he'd opened the door 20 times already and was tired of getting back up) "I can't. My dad said I can't open the door."

But eventually, against all odds, they did end up falling asleep. And then crazy Aunt Vicky just HAD to go in and snap a flash photo, risking EVERYTHING, for proof that they really did have a sleepover. It was totally worth it. Those fools were dead to the world after all that rigamarole. 

Sleepover ended at about 2AM when Jason woke up and decided sleeping on the floor blows compared to sleeping on a comfy bed with dad. 

Emmy Math

I take no credit for this. The Good Doctor and Emmy just emerged from the car one day and she could add. Then they came out of the bathroom and she could subtract. I think it's pretty decent for a 2.75 year old, but what do I know? I got rejected from Stanford.

But as a friend recently told me (not about herself) "As for child prodigies, I think most people don't realize that the extremely gifted are just another flavor of "special needs," so I wouldn't really wish that onto a kid as they tend to be outcasts." I trust her. She was accepted into Stanford and graduated too.

P.S. Math makes me want to poo too.

Emmy's First Dentist Visit

I know I said it was dumb to be proud of a toddler. I have eaten those words so many times over I'm as huge as a house. A big fat pregnant house. Emmy was a little shining star at her first visit to the dentist this week. It happened to be a day The Good Doctor was post-call so we showed up like two unemployed parents in the middle of the morning to hold our daughter's hand and obsessively video tape her first dental exam. 

She did not like "Mr. Thirsty," the little suctioning vacuum, so she had to manually rinse and spit, but other than that, she aced the visit.

 And the Terminator shades were just the piece de resistance.

Emmy Demos the I Am T-Pain Mic

My favorite gift to my husband this year for Christmas happens to be the same gift I gave my 11 year old cousin. The I Am T-Pain mic. Hours of fun. A delight for all ages. Never gets old. Just ask The Good Doctor's parents and brother, who sat through 10 minutes of him saying, "Homeboyyyyeeeee" over and over on Christmas Eve. It was painfully mesmerizing, the way you can't take your eyes off of a really obese person eating nachos. Or Thanksgiving turkey.

I digress. This video is much more watchable, particularly because the pitch of Emmy's voice perfectly activates the "T-Pain" effect. We are raising a small hip hopper up in here. Complete with Biz Markie heavy breathing and a T-Pain Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Emmy Texts Herself

Is it too soon for this?