I could easily dissolve into wrenching sobs reading "someone to hold on to." The writer, Mara Eve Robbins, won the Real Simple Life Lessons essay contest with this beautifully written, honest, authentic, and painfully personal vignette. It's a glimpse into a life that I have an irrationally large fear of, as I've mentioned in the past. Something about the job of reporting news, where we often tell stories of horrible and senseless tragedies, has implanted a paranoia in me about losing the people I love. I don't allow myself to get wholly consumed in the morbid possibilities, but deep in the corners of where my biggest fears live, this one looms large.
We really got our holiday fix on this weekend. Asian Grandma and Grandpa came over and cooked a crab fest on Sunday, then we all piled in the Prius to go to the Festival of Lights at Vasona Park.
Mistake 1: Going in my car. Cramped with a car seat, pregnant lady, and Asian Grandma riding center. Oops.
Mistake 2: Going at peak time. It took 1.5 hours to see about 20 minutes of lights.
Hope you had a nice holiday. I was sick as a d oh double gee after a Thanksgiving-palooza with White Grandma and Grandpa. Because a pregnant woman really needs more back pain, aches, and chills. It's not enough that the alien invasion is beginning to send fiery heartburn up my throat anytime I veer from standing completely perpendicular.
But I haven't forgotten what I'm thankful for this year.
1. Two families. Every time we get together with our in-laws for these holiday gatherings, I'm so grateful for the fact I married into a clan that's welcoming, friendly, generous, kind, and just kooky enough to appreciate the kooky that my family adds to the mix.
Plus we always have something to talk about because we're from such different backgrounds. I love sitting down at Thanksgiving dinner at Aunt Julie's and finding out her niece-in-law is a clothing designer and that manufacturing textiles in China is light years ahead of the U.S. and that a pair of Lululemon pants that retails for $120 costs all of $10 to make and ship to the U.S. Those free alterations are sounding a lot less free.
2. A mother-in-law who leaves this on my bed when I come to visit:
She said, "See? I read your blog!" And not once did she call me "Prego" or tell me I'm having twins. I'm so lucky I have a MIL I love. Same goes for my FIL, even though he didn't leave me any chocolate chips.
3. That we're lucky enough to have the resources and work ethic to provide a strong foundation for building our family and future.
4. A husband that makes the last trip out of bed at night to get my prenatal vitamin and my phone when we're all snuggled up and warm.
5. Parents who make it possible for us to work and have a clean house AND eat well.
6. Babius.
7. A daughter that has exceeded any notion that I might have had about how much I could love a small human being that came out of my body.
8. The feeling that I won the family and friends lottery. I'm really thankful for all the love and support in our lives.
I read somewhere recently that people who think of 3 things they are grateful for every day have less stress and live longer and are generally happier. I think there's a lot of truth to that. Times can get tough, people can be jackasses, stress happens. But taking a moment to appreciate your life can be really refreshing. Here's to a great rest of 2011 and a 2012 that's even better.
I huff and I puff and I blow 1/5 of the dandelion down. With cameo appearances by Romeo and Tofu.
We celebrated Cousin Lauren's 8th grade graduation recently and she made lovely flower crowns and necklaces for all the little girls in attendance. I marvel at Lauren's natural kindness and caring and how easily she plays with little kids. She has always been responsible and mature for her age; even at 8 years old I remember her at family gatherings, keeping an eye on all the younger cousins running around and she was so gentle and creative in inventing games to entertain them. I admire that so much in young kids--when they are compassionate and sweet and genuinely nice people. I give much more credit to a kid who has those traits because that means they are inherently good.
Which reminds me of how exactly opposite I was when I was her age. And beyond. Despite my obsession with The Baby-sitters Club books and my perfectly replicated "Stacey" handwriting, my parents would not give into my pleas to post flyers around the neighborhood offering my babysitting services. How hard could it be? Go over, read some books, serve some hot dogs, collect cash money.
So one time, ONE time, they finally let me babysit two boys that lived across the street. I was 12, the boys were 6, and my parents would be 100 yards away, home the entire time. Piece of cheesecake.
Until The Incident. The Incident which involved plastic dinosaurs filled with urine. OLD, STANKY, LITTLE BOY URINE.
All I remember was going into the boys' room and they were like, "You want to see our dinosaur?" Channeling my extensive Baby-sitters Club knowledge, I said, "Sure, little boys. Let's play with your dinosaur."
I reach out to grab it, something SLOSHES inside, and then I feel it. And worse, I smell it. Dark yellow liquid splashes onto my bare wrist, and then onto the off-white carpet. The boys start laughing hysterically and run out of the room. 12 year old Vicky is like, "Oh no you dii'n't just splash PISS all over your babysitter. Homey don't play this."
I remember running after them and making them tell me WHAT WAS IN THE DINOSAUR, BOYS. When I poured the pee into the sink, it was not yellow. It was BROWN. It was prehistoric piss in a plastic dinosaur and it sealed the deal. I never babysat anyone again. No amount of cash money was getting me back in that game.
Congrats on making it through 8th grade Lauren. You're a much better young woman than I was.
I am supposed to be writing a story about consumer gag orders that will air on KNTV next Wednesday and I'm up late because I emcee'd the International Museum of Women gala tonight where the crowd was so gracious. But now I'm totally off track and distracted and saddened because Asian Grandma just popped into our room wearing her Bluetooth headphones, wordlessly waving at me to get in her room to see the TV.
It was tuned to my friend Kiet Do's live shot at the USGS in Menlo Park where he was doing a live interview with a seismologist. That turned into 15 minutes of me flipping through the local news stations, listening to everyone's coverage and dipping into the English coverage on NHK, the news network in Japan.
The devastation in Japan, the fireballs following the earthquake, the flooded prefectures, the airport underwater, the violent waves tossing boats into the freeways, all of those images are swirling through my mind. And the untold number of people who are now gone. Tsunami warnings have gone out to the U.S. for Hawaii, to Russia, Guam, Taiwan, the Philippines, and Indonesia.
And I wasn't going to make a big deal of this, maybe surprise you with a few posts here and there should I be so lucky to establish a connection, but we're traveling to that part of the world, a family vacation to celebrate our time together, visit relatives, and to take advantage of our tour guides (Asian Grandma and Grandpa) before they get too old to traipse around Vietnam; it is a trip I have barely prepared for because the week has been so busy but I was looking forward to seeing just how many people would stop in their tracks to stare at my giant lily-colored husband and how many great photos and videos we could take of Emmy in the most foreign place we could take a 2 year old other than maybe Siberia or Africa.
But now I'm so sad for the thousands of people whose lives have been indelibly marked by this enormous disaster. It is a reminder of just how precious and sacred every moment truly is, and how to treasure your time with those you love because in an 8.9 magnitude instant, it can all change.
03.28.2012 
