Things Wives Should Do
1. Make snacks that are tasty.
2. Not make you feel guilty for playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare instead of scooping poop in the backyard.
3. Get you a glass of water and a men's multivitamin when you are already in bed and say you forgot it.
4. Take turns putting the baby down for a nap when you know she's going to require at least 2 stories and 15 minutes of monitoring as she cries and screams because for some reason that's the only way she can fall asleep during the day.
5. Watch sports and know stuff. Like the fact Raja Bell is now a Warrior when he used to be a Bobcat and before that a Sun but that he may be out for the season due to wrist surgery. How's THAT for some sports news Good Doctor? Boo YAH! It doesn't hurt that Raja Bell is HOTT.
6. Listen instead of talk over you.
7. Brag about your skills. Your many skills.
8. Ask if you want bacon with that.
9. Keep your secrets.
10. Print a sexy book for you.
11. Grab your buns and squeeze your middle at every opportunity, including the frozen foods aisle at Trader Joe's.
12. Let you spit your old gum into her hand.
13. Tell you to roll down your window so she can spit her gum out of your side of the car, but laugh so hard that it only lands on your crotch.
14. Buy the chewy Chips Ahoy, even when they're not on sale.
15. Not forget to tell you the hospital pager went off at 1245AM and she hit the silent button instead of waking you up. It was important, wasn't it.