Things I Want for Christmas (An abbreviated list)

1. A good old fashioned fist fight.

2. A knit beanie with earflaps.

3. For my dog Romeo to stop having allergies that require treatment with steroids that make him hungrier, thirstier, and full of poop and pee that needs to be expelled between 2-4am when I am in my deepest sleep.

4. For Emmy to keep being a happy and healthy beansprout. And for her to quit crying her eyes out every time she has to take a daytime nap. Is it really necessary to turn stiff as a board and start wailing at the mere mention of your bedroom during daylight hours?   

5. A successful experience deep frying a turkey for the first time on Christmas day. One that won't require our guests to witness the usage of a fire extinguisher.

6. World peace and good will toward all. After my fist fight.