Christmas Tree "After" "After" Pictures

The Good Doctor has this condition we like to call "analysis paralysis." Wherein, we will be shopping at say, Costco, and I will say something like, "Oh hey, look, we can buy a jumbo pack of 900 LED lights for 27.99. Let's get 'em." And he will say, "No, we don't even have our tree yet. We don't know how we're going to decorate it yet. We don't have ornaments yet. The second coming of Christ hasn't happened yet...Let's wait."

"Let's wait" is my nemesis. Anyone with my negative level of patience knows "Let's wait" is like death by lethal injection with a dull needle. So the compromise is, I buy one pack of multi-color lights because I know we're going to need something for the tree. And initially, that's what we put up. And that's when he we realized that wasn't going to cut it.

But by this point, Target was out of lights. Costco was out of lights. And CVS didn't have any lights that matched the one pack I originally bought. Of course! Because all the good boys and girls and shoppers who didn't WAIT were home stringing their 900 LED light jumbo packs and we had one sorry strand of multi-color lights that were 'cool to the touch' but just not enough to properly light the tree. As you may recall, "properly" is one of The Good Doctor's favorite states of being.

So we strip the tree of its original single strand of multi-color bulbs and we "properly" put up three strands of generic white lights he found at CVS. 

An aside--I think there's a sudden glut of Zhu Zhus, everybody! I found like 20 on the shelves at CVS. Couldn't believe my eyes. As The Good Doctor was carefully selecting white lights, I was conducting a full on conversation with three other women about the fact we'd just stumbled upon a treasure trove of toxic hamster toys that were later found not to be toxic but all the while remained in high demand. HELLO? This holy hamster that has generated thousands of local, national and international news stories is now just lounging around on the shelves at CVS of all places? For $9.99? Naturally I bought a bunch. Or a "horde," as is the technical term for a group of hamsters. One for Emmy, and the others as stand-by gifts. One of which has been given away already to Drew, the cutest little hapa nephew of my friend Toan. And as I convinced The Good Doctor after he rounded the corner and saw me with my arms overflowing with Zhu Zhus, what kid wouldn't love to get one of these in a toy drive? After some sighing and several "Seriously we're buying EIGHT Zhu Zhus?" we left. Me with my horde and he with his 3 boxes of white lights. 

Anyway, we finally got all the lights strung, plugged them in and stood back. And I laughed while he gasped and said, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

The lights were different colors of WHITE. Kind of like people. Some are really, really white like my friend Keith Yaskin, whose skin just glows because it's so white it's almost like a radioactive blue. Or regular white, like The Good Doctor, whose skin is a few shades tanner than milk.

Turns out The Good Doctor bought one box of Keith Yaskin white, which you see at the top, and two boxes of regular white, wrapped around the middle and bottom.

   

After "properly" re-packing the Yaskin lights, and I will say, they looked brand new like they had never been unwound and touched by small Asian hands and wrapped around the top of a tree, The Good Doctor exchanged the Yaskins for regular white lights and we ornamented our tree.

Here it is, in its white lighted glory. We managed to dig out a few of the ornaments we've collected over the years from The Good Doctor's mom, who has been giving us an ornament or three in our stockings (yes, we still get stockings!)

 

These ornaments--the one below reminds me of Romeo with a sweater on--have travelled with us all over the country, packed and unpacked and stuffed into knick knack boxes because we haven't put up a Christmas tree in, oh, a decade or more. But this being Emmy's FIRST CHRISTMAS, we went all out.  

How fun would it be if I could shrink The Good Doctor like the Indian in The Indian in the Cupboard and just carry him around with me in his tiny scrubs? It would be illegal amounts of fun.

Vicky NguyenBloggity, Christmas