Things Men Should Be Good At

1. Driving.

2. Parking. Especially parallel, and on the first try.

3. Grilling.

4. Fixing things.

5. Connecting electronic equipment. Like the double VCR system I used to have that allowed me to tape newscasts from the TV and then re-tape them onto a VHS tape to save. Thank God for DVRs and DVD recorders.

6. Using tools, especially power tools.

7. Math. And quickly. So that when I'm at Costco and need to know whether I should buy the 150 piece Halloween candy bag for 15.5 cents an oz, or if the Safeway bags, which cost $2.50 for 9 oz, are a better deal.

8.  Doing Things. If you catch my drift.

9.  Managing their money.

10.  Handling their women, however crazy they may be.

11.  Telling stories and jokes.

12.  Bear hugs.

13.  Taking care of their families and not effing things up by gambling, cheating, or general ridiculousness.

14.  Sports, of any kind. Just some sort of activity that requires coordination.

15.  Reacting calmly in an emergency. Or to cops when you're 17 and making out in various stages of undress in the back of your parents' Camry and the officer says, "You kids nekkid in there?"

16.  Neutralizing girl drama before it escalates to hair-pulling and cat-scratching, literally and figuratively.

17.  Making at least one signature dish. Like chocolate chip pancakes or blackberry smoothies. Simple but good.

18.  Taking pictures.

19.  Holding their liquor.

20.  Using their hands.

21.  Acting like a grown man.

22.  Flirting with their significant other.

23.  Knowing when to take control, and when to step back.

24.  Listening. 

25.  Making fun of themselves. It's endearing.