In news, a TV story is called a "package," or pkg for short. Last night, for the 4th time in the last 5 live shots I've done, there was a major issue with my piece. The story I spent the night working on, about Apple's super secret super cool super over hyped new tablet device thingamajig, FROZE. It done frozed up like it had stagefright and a spotlight came down and the room was silent and it was supposed to do a vagina monologue. And then suddenly I popped back up on screen, thinking, "Did my pkg just freeze and am I already back on camera 30 seconds before my story was supposed to have its nice and neatly written middle and end?"
So I just wrapped it up, said my last few lines and signed off. Immediately realizing we had a technical fail and wishing I acknowledged it and joked about how we could use some Apple geniuses at our station. But alas, no do-overs in live TV. Just long conversations after the show about what went wrong and why I'm technically cursed. My story played, twice, in the deck before the show. No probs. Then we're live, and....FROZEN. What the douche. I need to have a television spiritual cleansing. A shaman and a sage bushel and incense and let's light a few Dollar Store candles with the Virgin Mary on them.
The Good Doctor says that's my hero power, screwing up perfectly good electronic equipment by just hovering near it or looking at it. But my hero power must be growing stronger because apparently it can disable equipment in our San Jose control room when I'm live in Oakland.
What really gets my grannies in a bunch is the fact we interview people for our stories. Lovely people like M.G. Siegler of Tech Crunch and Ryan Tate of Valleywag who take time out of their busy day to talk to us about interesting things and then they see the finished product and they're like, "Seriously?" And then we look TURRIBLE.
And those are people that have email addresses that I can at least send a note to and explain what happened. The random people on the street that I interview about their opinions and thoughts--THOSE people have no idea what happened on our end. So they think we're even more turrible.
Inhale. Exhale. Wax on. Wax off.