So. You know by now that what you see on TV is not what you get with me. Let me further cement that thought with this photo, taken circa 1999.
You see, I used to be borderline obsessive about free candy on Halloween. I know, shocking. ME, obsessive? NO. Yes. I lived for Halloween night. You could scoop up as much chocolatey fun sized goodness as your feet would allow. Just keep knocking and yelling TRICK OR TREAT and these glorious Americans would fill your pillowcase, three Pixy Stix at a time.
I didn't do a lot of trick or treating growing up. A year here or there, sometimes with friends, but it wasn't some giant tradition in our household. Working parents + Asian + immigrant = Halloween is not a big deal.
So my junior year in COLLEGE, it had been years since I hit the streets in costume. And I have a serious sweet tooth. A mouthful of sweet teeth really. Except for the four salty ones. Check in on me in 20 years. Make sure I'm not 400 pounds because I like ALL the bad foods. Including the new Carl's Jr. hand breaded chicken tenders with honey mustard dip. Heavenly father.
Anyway, Halloween 1999. I convince The Good Doctor that it would be really fun to dress up and go trick or treating. He was like, "You're 20. YEARS. OLD. We are not trick or treating."
Well, you know me. Not gonna give up. Not gonna do it. So he met me halfway. We went through the treasure trove of Halloween masks and accessories at his house and came up with a super tight suit and wig get-up for him. A suit that may or may not have ripped down the buttcrack seam at some point during the night. Sorry White Grandpa. It's not like you were ever going to wear it again anyway.
But who is that adorable little old lady next to him? Ahhh. She's a gem. She's the one who walked up and croaked, in her best little old lady voice, "Triiiicckkk or trrrreaat." And she's the same little old lady who got compliments like, "Oh, what a creative costume!" "Aren't you adorable?" "Happy Halloween, honey!"
The Good Doctor waited at the end of the driveway, waving politely, nodding, chit chatting about the little trick or treater.
I never said anything other than "Triiiicckkk or trrrreaat" and "Thaaaaank you" before scuffling off in my tennies to the next unsuspecting homeowner.
I love this country. Halloween is such an awesome holiday. We leave our lights on, we answer our doors, and we give candies to strangers. Including 20 year olds disguised as little kids.