Things Pets and Babies Have in Common

One common denominator I have noticed among parents who seem to enjoy what they're doing and seem to have a knack for raising good healthy smart crotchfruit: they were good pet owners first. They understand what it means to take care of a little being that totally depends on you and is a lot more work than cute most of the time. They know what it's like to have a little shadow and that putting your shadow in the backyard all day is really not acceptable or ethical. Or legal.

Being a good pet owner does not necessarily mean you'll be in the parental winner's circle, but it gives you some valuable experience and the teeniest taste of what life is like A.B. After Baby.

Pets need to go on walks. Babies need to ride in strollers.

Pets need to be fed and watered regularly. Baby appetites need to be catered to around the clock.

Pets need to go outside in the middle of the night because they are itchy miniature pinschers with lifelong allergies that need to be treated with steroids. Which in turn, make them very thirsty. Which leads to 3AM pee breaks. Babies have 3AM explosive diarrhea breaks.

Pets like to go places with you. Babies are required by law to go places with you.

Pets need to have their teeth brushed. Babies too. Flossing is not an option for either.

Pets may bite. Babies definitely bite.

Pets need to learn to walk well on leash. Babies need to learn how to walk.

Pets are super cute when you dress them up. Ditto babies.

Pets amuse you. Babies demand amusement.

Pets require vaccinations and vet visits. Babies also benefit from proper medical care.

Pet gear can get pricey, especially when it comes to crates, safety seats, and leashes. Baby cribs, car seats, and baby leashes also add up.

Pets need weekly baths. Babies should get one every other day. Ish.

Pets bring fleas into your bed once in a while. Babies will give you rabies if you're not careful.

Pets love to snuggle. When babies learn to snuggle with you, it's one of life's greatest gifts.

Pets like to share your food. Babies must have all of it.

Pets like toys. Babies like pet toys.

Pets need love, attention, and companionship. Babies will settle for nothing less than 100% of all three.

Pet owners, parents...feel free to add to the list.