Memo To Emmy: 19 Months


Oh Emmy, your daddy has been waiting since YOU WERE BORN for this moment. He purchased the teensy tiny elastic bands. He sat you on his lap. He parted your head of fine hair. And then he struggled. And struggled. And put your hair into two perfect tiny pigtails. Which promptly slid out of your slippery hair. Turns out the giant hands of a 6'6" daddy are no match for actually tightening teensy tiny elastic bands. So Asian Grandma stepped in and did the deed for reals.

Don't be fooled by your adorable smile. You're actually a pig tail hayyyyter. It's virtually impossible to achieve this adorable look. You prefer your hair the way you'll probably grow up to prefer your men: shaggy and wild and free.

You can now answer key questions, such as "What's your name?" You say: "Emmmmmm eeeeeeee." But when I ask you "What's my name?" You always say "DADA!" first because he's the one who taught you. That's okay. You spent the first 18 and a half months of your life calling him Mama. Oh how the tables have turned!

You still don't talk a whole lot but when you do, you often sound like you're cussing us out in Cantonese. What? You don't know what that sounds like? Go to a Ranch 99 and push your cart in front of an elderly woman and block her view of the live catfish tank. That's what it sounds like.

But your letter and number recognition is pretty astonishing. As in, we were shocked you've been paying attention to all the repetition in front of your alphabet magnet board. One day you just brought us the letter M and said, "Emmmm." You know all the letters in your name, maybe because we usually read them to you every morning when you're getting your 27 pound pee-soaked diaper changed. 

Your favorite letter is H; you make a point of puckering your lips afterward to fully enunciate. This is Mommy's attempt to capture your little face and voice. You had to be reset a few times; that baby attention span of yours is quite short.

You love to run around the furniture and be chased while you laugh like a maniac. You also think hiding is the bees knees.

We are now adding the money saved from not buying organic milk to your college fund. One day Asian Grandma bought you some Triple Omega 3 milk and you didn't drink for a whole day, leading your dad to ask me 75 million questions over a 13 hour period about what we should do.

We bought regular milk and he convinced you to try it and that put you back on track. We went back to the organic stuff you drank before the Omega 3 "fish milk" as we called it and you were disgusted again. So we're back to good ole cheap milk and hopefully you will grow supermodel tall. 

However, you've developed quite a taste for chocolate Silk soymilk. That stuff's pricey, Emmy. There go the non-organic milk savings.

This was also a big month for you car-wise. You're now riding forward in your car seat. Sadly, it still has not stopped you from turning into a pumpkin 12 minutes into the car ride no matter where we're going. That's where your fake crying comes in handy. No matter how many books or toys or sets of encyclopedia we put back there, 12 minutes is your max. Clearly there are no road trips in our future.

But that's your only vice, really. You're an otherwise stellar baby. Can't believe we spawned you. It's God's way of tricking us into making another one, I just know it.

Feeling Whitney Houston's Greatest Love for you,

Mama and Dada