Oral Boards

No, not the name of a new NBC show. It's the thing The Good Doctor has been studying for for about 6 months. If you can call watching March Madness while eating Fritos Scoops near an open medical book studying.

But he really ramped up recently. The oral boards are the final step toward becoming a board certified anesthesiologist. Meaning he can put people to sleep and say, "Ma'am, everything will be fine. I'm board certified. By The Board." Whereas now he just says, "Ma'am, everything will be fine. I'm an old school pimp."

Let me be clear. The Good Doctor is the bomb diggity at what he does. His bedside manner is sublime. That's what she said.

She also said, he is extremely good with his hands, because anesthesia is actually a very technical and hands-on specialty.

And, not to jinx him, but he has a really strong record that he should be proud of. He's the guy you want if you're going under. And want to come back up. Thank you to the patient who sent him a card and a box of Godiva chocolates. The cards are always appreciated but nothing says, "Thanks for keeping me alive" like a raspberry truffle.

This final exam is the be all end all. It's what comes after the PSAT, PACT, SAT, ACT, MCAT, USMLE1, USMLE2, USMLE3, and 8 hour-long writtten boards. Oral boards are two questions. The Good Doctor in a hotel room with two examiners. They give him a scenario, and ask him what he would do. And like the guy at the Chinese restaurant when you order, each time you give your answer, they go, "And then?"  

He gets 30 minutes to anwer each question. Say too little, and you could fail. Say too much, and you could fail.

Say anything in "air quotes" and they may just get up and leave you right there next to the room service menu. 

Apparently I've grown so symbiotically attached to him that I never noticed just how often The Good Doctor uses "air quotes" for emphasis when he's talking. I'm too busy being a Parent Intern to look up that high.

But when he starting practicing out loud with a colleague recently, she was all, "OK dude. Stop with the air quotes. Those are not going to help your score." Unless this was a test on douchery. If only. I know so many people who could straight up ACE a douchery test.

So The Good Doctor is in Hotlanta right now. Sitting in front of examiners first thing this morning. Please observe a moment to send him some pass-the-oral-boards vibes. Because if he doesn't pass, I'm gonna go "air quotes" bananas "air quotes."