ROBOTS

I have no idea what they are but my website keeps track of the robots that visit my site on a daily basis.

Usually about 60-80 robots show up per day but a couple times I've had like, 400 robots. Last night it was 357. Way more robots like my site than actual people, sadly.

Whenever The Good Doctor is in the room and I'm checking to see how many page views and unique visitors I've had, he goes, "How many robots did you get?"

Or he'll look over my shoulder and go, "Oooh, the robots are active today."

Or, "Your robots are down. What's going on?"

So now we imagine there's a whole robot community reading my blog. Talking about it over robot coffee and robot donuts. In robot voices.

"Be bop be bop, this post is funny. What is a vag?"

"Doot beet, is ox cake made from bull meat?"

"Bizzle boop, her baby is cute. For a human."

Reminds me of this tiny Bloomberg swag gift I got from a journalism convention. It was a microphone keychain that you could record 8 seconds of audio onto. I originally gave it to The Good Doctor with some sappy "I love you and your balls" message on it years ago.

We found it when Emmy was 6 months old and he promptly erased my message, saying it was "inappropriate." Then he recorded his own message for Emmy that we'd play over and over.

"Be bop be bop, Daddy is a robot."

I do love a good robot. Especially the ones that read my blog.