You Wouldn't Understand. You're Not a "Reader."
I love saying that to The Good Doctor whenever I reference something and he's all "????" And I say it looking down my nose, through my imaginary spectacles, with my imaginary salt and pepper hair tucked in an imaginary bun.
It's because the man DOES NOT READ. As in, he hates it. I know, how did I marry such a savage when I love nerdy types so much? And yet, he charmed me with his braces and No Fear hoodie. But back then I really didn't know he wasn't a reader.
One time, years ago, I got him to read Shogun. Don't ask me how or why, but I think I borrowed it from someone and enjoyed it and we were stranded somewhere with no TV and only each other to look at and eventually he picked up the book.
I still remember him saying, "I haaaatttttte reeeaaaaadddddding. But I feel like I have to. Because I want to know what happens next."
Me: "Um, that's the point. When you read a good book, you want to keep reading it."
Him: "But I haaaatttttte reeeaaaaadddddding." *sigh. opens book*
It is worse than physical torture to him. Reading for pleasure? He'd rather yank out nose hairs. One by one.
I, on the other hand, LOVE READING. I was the kid who ordered earned all the free posters along with my stack of books every time the Scholastic boxes would arrive. Thank you Mom and Dad for always buying me books and never saying no to reading at the dinner table.
When I told The Good Doctor that was one of my favorite memories of grade school, he looked up dreamily and was all, "Oh yeah! I remember that. I used to always get the erasers. And stickers!"
Not books. He never ordered books. Just knick knacks.
Anyway, I bring this up because it's so ironic he's this "highly educated" person entrusted with "saving lives" and the man refuses to read books without pictures. He pretty much only reads this blog because of the Emmy photos. And the possibility I might write about his buns or violate HIPAA.
And because randomly, this girl on a ranch in Nebraska, found my blog and gave me a really nice shout out. And guess what y'all? She loves to read!
So thank you Sara. You totally understand. You ARE a reader.