Poop Training

This is for you Ben. I mean, for your kids. It's not hard. And so worth it.

Step 1: You cut a hole in the box. I can't help it. Every time I say "Step 1" I think of that song.

OK for real:

1. Buy a padded toilet seat. We have this one made by Munchkin.

Which Emmy prefers mightily over the Sponge Bob one we got that has less padding. Be forewarned. Babies is picky lil' varmints. Buy the softest potty seat you see.

2. When your baby starts being able to sit up, say, around 6-8 months, start by putting him/her/them on the padded toilet seat every morning after the first feeding or second feeding or whenever it is convenient for you. Just let your baby sit there and do it consistently. Your baby will produce. Pee or poo. (Sh)It happens. You can do this when they are younger but I thought it was really easy when Emmy was no longer a blob that lolled all over the place.

3. Give your baby lots of pooportunities and peeportunities. Whenever it's convenient and you're going to change the little bugger's diaper anyway, plop him on the seat for a few minutes to see if there's anything in the tank. Odds are, there's something in there.

4. Rinse and repeat.

5. Don't get all anal about it. Just do what works for your household. If you can only do it on the weekends or evenings, so be it.

6. Pay attention. Eventually you'll notice when your kid craps. Or if they're like Emmy, they will poop two and sometimes three times a day. She's down to one pretty consistently now, mostly around noon before her milk and nap. It's always nice when they go before they sleep because who likes to poop themselves in bed? I know I don't.

7. Use the same language when you take them to the potty. That way they get used to the verbal cues. For example, "Hey baby, is it time to drop a deuce?" That could also double as a pick up line. If you ever run into me, come on up and say that. Loudly.

You can also make sounds like "Psss psss" and "Unh unh" to get them to pee and poo. I'm telling you, this is what people who don't have econo-size boxes of diapers do all over the world. It helps cut down on the diapers and it's WAY easier to wipe up a baby butt before Poopageddon spreads everywhere.

8. Have little books and things nearby to entertain them. Sometimes Emmy would try to get up before she really needed to, and an empty bottle of hair gel helped get her in the mood.

9. Rejoice when you see them poop into the toilet for the first time. I still have a cell phone picture of Emmy's first poop in the toilet. And her first poop in the sink. It looks like a brown Egyptian sphinx. Crazy Asian Grandma had her over the sink to take off her diaper and BLAMM-O. Poop in the sink.

I posted Emmy's progress when she was just starting out here and here. There are also some parents who YouTubed their tiny babies using the toilet here and here. Just search "elimination communication" and turn the volume down if you're at work. Unless they're cool with the sounds of pee and poo. Then by all means, have at it!