Memo To Emmy: 16 Months

Oh Emmies.

I would kiss you on the lips all day if that wasn't totally weird. You are beyond delicious and funny and a squishball of lovey. When you're not being a total crybaby or Satan's spawn in a carseat.

You have two distinctive personalities emerging. Not in a Cybil kind of way but in a "I know you, so hi, I'm Emmy! Watch me wave at you with my hand next to the corner of my mouth" and a "I don't know you, get the eff back and don't even think about touching me because I will start frowning and erupt in tears in 3...2...WAAHHHHHHHHHHHH" kind of way.

This was a big month for you. We took you to dim sum for the first time since you were two weeks old and this time you didn't sleep through the entire meal while supersonically loud Asian people crunched chicken feet and clanged metal teapots above your head.

This time you sat on Dada's lap and politely ate all sorts of steamed dumpling innards followed by steamed dumpling wrappers followed by fried dumpling wrappers sprinkled with bits of bok choy that Asian Grandma cut for you. She wasn't satisfied with the server's efforts and decided to take the scissors into her own hands. Not really health code appropriate but hey, she loves you!

The best part of the entire meal: when an elderly Chinese lady walked up to your Dada and said, "Exxxxcellent father. You are an exxxxxcellent father," and smiled and shuffled away. Dada was like, "Pffffft. You KNOW IT! WOOT." Actually we were all like, "Where did that lady come from? NINJA!" Apparently she'd been watching him patiently feed you bites of dim sum with his chopsticks. It was the ultimate recognition. Asian Elder bestowing compliment on WHITE MAN. White Man she didn't even KNOW. Really. That was momentous.

And the ladies at the next table thought you were so cute with your little bashful smile that they kept waving at you and urging me to "take lots of pictures" because you "should be in a calendar!" Asian people, we love our calendars.

You went to the kids club at the gym for the first time so I could work out with Asian Grandma and show her some new exercises. Que disastre! I peeked in on you 20 times and each time you were frozen in the corner, clutching an old stuffed bunny, the kids club lady crouched next to you. You were shuddering in a way I've never seen you, because you were trying not to cry but you were so scared. Oh baby!! That was so hard but I knew you were safe and that you needed to get a little tougher and that the other kids were just trying to give you toys. Especially that one little girl who stood there for like a minute holding a block and she finally just perched it on the crook of your arm because you wouldn't free one of your hands from the Bunny Deathgrip. And then you started wailing. She was just giving you a toy, not punching you in the face, Emmy.

Of course Asian Grandma made me feel much better about the whole thing by saying, "Poor Emmy. I never could've done that to you." So I made her lift heavy weights until her arms were so sore she couldn't move them the next day.

You've found new life with Level Four at Gymboree. You still don't really interact with anyone and Dada and I remark under our breaths all the time, "She's so weird," because you like to climb into a green innertube in the corner and just watch everyone else run around and climb and play "SIDE BY SIDE!" That's what they're always yelling in class because you're learning how to do things SIDE BY SIDE! like sliding and throwing and jumping SIDE BY SIDE!

We need to work on your car rides. More than 15 minutes and you expire like milk left in the hot sun. Car ride fan, you are not.

But your positive qualities far outweigh your whiny tendencies. You're such a foodie. You're so polite and easy to hang out with in public. You're such a sweet bear and you have so much fun when surrounded by people you know and love.

And your hair is now officially Tom Brady hair according to your father. He's always saying, "She looks JUST like Tom Brady!" And I'm like, I wish. Only keeding.

Love your Mom!ah and Dada

P.S. You can punish Mom!ah later for posting this 5 days late.