There is a family out there that is eerily exactly like ours. Except slightly better.
The Good Doctor works with this equally good doctor who is an orthopedic surgeon (which is one of the specialties The Good Doctor originally considered before I said, "Wait, you mean instead of 4 years of residency poverty and sleep deprivation, you want to do 6 years? That's the sound of me gouging out my frontal lobes. Excuse the splatter.")
He told me about this doctor and how he's also married to a Vietnamese woman. Yes, there should be a how-to manual as well as a support group for these men. They also have a Marvin baby, who is close to Emmy's age.
I thought the similarities ended there. I come to find out later that the wife also owns a prehistoric Palm Centro phone. Loca!
But wait, there's more. So I finally meet these people, after begging The Good Doctor to request an interview with them for our story on the "Your Baby Can Read" DVDs. (It airs tonight at 11 and I'll post a link here once it's up.)
The Doppelgangers started showing the DVDs to their baby when she was 5 months old. By 10 months, she knew dozens of words. Baby Reading Savant! They say she reads the back of the newspaper when they're reading it. I say, thank you Baby Savant, for supporting our dying industry.
So I show up to interview the Doppelgangers and it's so weird. The husband does look like mine. Obviously I look like the wife because all Asians look alike. And the baby? The baby is Emmy's slightly older twin sister. With BLONDE HAIR. WTF Vietnamese genes? You couldn't take on the Swede? I shake my head.
But little Emmy's doppelganger was so much like Emmy. She was walking on her tippy toes, doing this pouty thing with her lips, and she had the cutest little nom nomlicious cheeks. She's also very close to her grandparents, and calls her grandma "MA!" just like Emmy does.
And then I look around and I see a little wooden stool, exactly like the one Emmy has with wooden letters that spell out her name. I spot the same sippy cup. Similar fuzzy polyester blanket but it had flowers on it instead of caterpillars. And she was wearing these little Crocs that she loves to wear all the time. JUST LIKE EMMY. Only Emmy's are fake Crocs and Baby Savant's were brand name. I told you, they're just like us. But better.
They also have a cute little chihuahua that climbs all over the furniture like a miniature mountain goat. But instead of barking his fool head off the entire time we were there, he behaved like a perfect little gentleman. Strike two against us. Our dogs don't need The Dog Whisperer, they need The Dog Bellower.
Strike three: Not only does their baby talk way more than Emmy, their baby can read! Baby Savant was so confident and outgoing and she brought me her little blanket and said, "Pet!" She was a total superstar during the shoot, reading this and that, acting out the words. It was like an audition for Star Search: Your Baby Can Read edition.
I take comfort knowing we are better than they are in one respect. Goofiness. We can out goofy them anywhere, any day. TAKE THAT Doppelgangers!