Ways Husbands Make Life Better
1. The obvious.
2. They drive. While you _________. My fill in the blanks are: chair dance and paint my nails (Yes I'm that good. It's part of being Vietnamese. You must be able to paint nails under any circumstances.)
3. They reach high objects.
4. They tell you your bra is showing.
5. They get you a glass of water when you are all warm and snuggled up and tucked in and realize you're a wee bit parched.
6. They connect all your 'lectronics when you done moved again. Including your double VCR system you set up to tape the stories you wanted to save before DVRs and DVD recorders rocked your world.
7. They plan your vacation and book the tickets and rent the car and pack your luggage.
8. They teach your babies cute, random tricks like how to stand on one leg and when you get home they go, "Check this out. Watch. I taught Emmy how to stand on one leg. Emmy, show Mommy how you stand on one leg!"
9. They operate the remote control and stop the fast forward in exactly the right spot so you don't miss a second of Desperate Housewives between commercials.
10. They watch Desperate Housewives with you.
11. They give you pep talks when you need them.
12. They admit your idea for a king bed wasn't such a bad one after all.
13. They take you to parties at your dream house their boss' beautiful home and afterward they say, "Thank you for being my wifey."
14. They giggle when you tell dirty jokes and mess up the punch line.
15. They make you laugh so hard you almost forget you've been waiting in the universe's longest Toys R Us line in the history of the world with one checker who has been on a walkie talkie for 5 minutes and another checker that's eating a Snickers bar because she's on her ill-timed break and a third checker who decides to only handle the one person in returns while the purchase line triples in length.
The Good Doctor turned to me after 10 minutes of not moving one inch and goes, "I can't believe we're the only white people in here."