Memo to Emmy: 23 Months

Dear Emmy,

This is my favorite month yet, I think. You're becoming Interactive. You answer questions and come up with your own suggestions and connections. Like when we say we're going to pick up Aunt Connie and you say, "Connie Sean!" because you remember her husband's name from a visit weeks ago. Or when you "blackmail" Asian Grandma by repeating, "Em Em Em" after lunch 800 times until she asks, "How many?" and you always say "Three!" 

You are stylistically challenged though. If you so much as catch a glimpse of a pair of jeans, it is a fashion emergency, and not the good kind that ends in a new cut 'n color and a fancy outfit. Yours ends with Mommy throwing down the adorable, super soft stretchy jeggings I couldn't wait for you to wear, and you, in some sort of cotton bell bottoms or stretch pants.

I'm raising a sweatpant lover. Not that there's anything wrong with sweatpants. They were my favorite thing to wear from ages 10-14. The Russell brand sweats, brand new from Mervyn's. Fleecy perfection. What? I grew up in Santa Rosa. Mervyn's and sweats were cool back in the 90's. I think.

I would like to take this moment to document why I think you hate certain pantwear. And since it's my blob, I can do what I want and I will deal with the name-calling and demands for a retraction later.

I blame your father. Yes, I said it. Every time I wanted to put you in your adorable, super soft stretchy jeggings, he would say, "No, they don't fit. I want her to be comfortable. Next time. Next time. Next time." He poisoned your mind. There will be no Next Time because at the sight of these pants you go into full Terrible Toddler "No! Don't want, don't waaaaaaant!" mode. Thanks Dada. You Inceptionized our baby with seeds of doubt about jeggings.

Your vocab is expanding rapidly. You even repeat very random phrases upon hearing them just once. Like "sucks balls," as in, "That sucks balls." Which is now a verboten phrase in our house. You can also say "Gramma" and "Grampa" now. Finally. You used to call both Asian Grandma and me "Mama." Or MAMA. Or MAMMAAAAA depending on how badly you wanted something. "Nana" only lasted about a week before you started winning everyone over with, "Thank you Grandma." It's one of your most endearing phrases yet. 

You also added: "It teekelz!" in reference to anything remotely ticklish.

"Nope," "whoa," "nest," "park," "ducks" and "too" are among your favorites. You like to add "too" to everything, much like you like to add soy sauce to everything. 

My favorites are anything with the "sp" combo like spider, spicy, or sparkle, because you say, "'Pider, 'picy," and "parkle." Adorbs!!!

Except for when we're hanging out and you say, "'piders coming, 'piders coming, 'piders COMING!!!" 15 times in a row. No joke. And when I ask you how many are coming, you always say 8. This has happened on three occasions. I don't know when they're coming or why, but you have convinced me, 8 'piders are coming. I don't know where you got this. But it may be the 'pider costume you wore for Halloween. Or the 'pider book your Grandpa bought from the library with extreme close-up photos of wolf 'piders and violin 'piders and crab 'piders. Perfect for a two year old!

You are a park-aholic. Must. Go. To. Park. Everyday. And even when you don't, you tell us that you did, and that you saw ducks and poop at the "Duck Park." You can climb up this mini mountain at the park all by yourself and go down the big tunnel slide too.

You always start on your belly but half the time you end up on your bottom somehow. I swear, you love the park, even though you look like Glummy McGlumington in this picture.

And you're becoming quite the social butterfly! You were a big hit at a housewarming party and a baby shower this month, high fiving and fist bumping--even blowing it up after the bumps. You even impressed an early intervention education specialist with a master's degree who says you are "very advanced" for your age because you can count to 15 in English and 10 in Vietnamese (Tiger Mom needs a Tiger Husband to force her to work harder!)

You remain, helpful as ever, happy to put your dirty clothes in the hamper, and assist around the house. You're never too young to start sweeping, I say.

I always tell everyone what a fun time this is because your personality is emerging and you're so charming and sweet. You are a total mama's girl, even though I did nothing to deserve it. We ask if you want a little brother or sister and you say, "brother" most of the time but sometimes you say "sister" too. Nobody's on the way yet but we're working on it. Not that you will know anything about what that entails until you are 21 years old. Or older. 

We love you so much, little 'pider clairvoyant. Wonder what else is in your crystal ball.

Your fond servants,

Mama and Dada. Too!