If You Give a Pig a Pancake

This post by my writer/blogger friend I've not yet met reminded me of a conversation I had with The Good Doctor about certain wants and needs. The technology kind. 

He patterned his little impromptu story after one of Emmy's favorite books, given to us by her Great Aunt Juls and family. It was part of a huge collection of books and one of the best baby shower gifts you can give someone: a bassinet sized basket full of books from book fairs, library sales, and school book drives. All the best in kid literature, from baby books to toddler books. It's been so useful and enjoyable and such a timesaver because all the awesome books that kids love are in the basket, pre-selected and ready to be read. Classics like "Everyone Poops," "The Very Hungry Caterpillar," "The Golden Egg," and "If You Give a Pig a Pancake."

The last book is all about what happens when you go down that slippery slope, and how one thing begets the next. "If you give a pig a pancake, she'll probably want some syrup to go with it." And the pig is a thinly veiled metaphor of a kid with A.D.D. who wears you out because once she gets the syrup, she gets sticky so she wants a bath and next thing you know the bath toys make her homesick and on and on until somehow she winds up building a treehouse and you're exhausted and it all started because you gave that porker CARBS for breakfast.

The Good Doctor's version was inspired by my not so subtle attempts to acquire a new laptop because mine is several years old, slow, and the battery is so bad that by the time the computer boots up, you have five minutes until the "plug your computer in now or lose everything you've written" light comes on. 

"If you give a Vicky a new computer, she'll probably want a hard drive to go with it. You'll get her a hard drive and then she'll want a new SLR to take pictures to store on the hard drive. After she sees all the pretty pictures, she'll decide she needs Adobe Photoshop to edit them. She'll have so much fun making albums that she'll want to have them printed on huge canvasses. The canvasses will remind her she still lives in a rental and she'll start dreaming of a new house. She'll realize she's so damn picky she won't want to BUY a house, she'll want to BUILD her own custom home. Researching architects will make her realize she's way too poor for that shit so she'll sign up for subscriptions to Architectural Digest and Home and Design magazine. The piles of magazines that end up on the bathroom sink while she brushes her teeth will make The Good Doctor declare he wants double sinks NO MATTER WHERE THEY LIVE NEXT. All the yelling will make Vicky want to jot down a blog post about HOW MUCH SHE LOVES HER HUSBAND and when she goes to look for her laptop, she'll probably announce it's time to get a new one."

By: The Good Doctor. He's such a natural.