Memo to Emmy: 24 Months

Dearest Emmy,

I'm staying up extra late to make sure this post makes it on the EXACT date of your birth two years ago, at 9:36AM, when you came out and scored 9's on your Apgar tests, not exactly Tiger Mom bragging material but you'll make it up to me later.

The source of my anal retention about posting your memo on time is inversely related to the fact we are nowhere near ready to celebrate your birthday with an actual party and that's because we suck. Even though no one actually remembers turning two, I still feel very badly about postponing your party about a month. Ish. The whole Vietnam thing really threw us for a loop, plus we just went to a double b-day party this past weekend, we're going to your buddy's big one year old birthday bonanza this weekend, and yours would've been the third party in three weeks with overlapping guests and I think we can all agree no one wants to be the butt of a birthday burnout.

So we're going to make it up to you by re-gifting you with the Hokey Pokey Elmo that your Uncle Mike got you 4 months ago for Christmas. And enrolling you in a dance class. But not the one conveniently located nearby because Asian Grandma doesn't approve of its underground dance rooms. She says the "air down there is bad. Really bad. Not good." When asked to expand, she just shook her head repeated the same phrase again, adding a "tsk tsk," so we need to look for some other options.

But we know you're going to love to shake your booty, because you have my sense of rhythm and your father's booty, which, for McWhitey, is significantly bubblicious.

These days you are simply irresistible. Saying no to you is pretty difficult and I fear for my safety and definitely for the willpower of any grandparents who come near you. You may as well open your hands now and say, "I make it rain M&M's." 

No dye-pah! No dye-pah! Ohnee unnaware!

Translation: No diaper! No diaper! Only underwear!

It's how you spend most of your days now, running around in Fancy Nancy underpants. Almost ready to let go of the daytime diaper because you're about 80% consistent in telling us when you have to pee. 

But the best is when you come up to us and say, "I wuv Daddy. Best!" Followed by "I wuv Mommy. Best!" Followed by, "I wuv Grandma/Grandpa/'Meo/Foofu/Coco. Best!" 

So, until we figure out what we're doing for your 2nd birthday, we at least had a dual celebration with Asian Grandpa and a burnt almond cake to celebrate this major milestone. 

We wuv Emmy. Best! Happy Birthday Em!

P.S. Sorry, I went a little short on the bangs. Again!