Things Not to Do When You Anchor

1. Sound like the Micro Machine man turned auctioneer.

2. Stumble over words like "California cable car line" because you're the Micro Machine man turned auctioneer.

3. Look at the wrong camera. Repeatedly.

4. Make Freudian slips like saying jizzum when talking about soy milk.

5. Leave your makeup on the desk.

6. Forget your mic is open.

7. Not know which story is next.

8. Awkwardly toss to your meteorologist whilst stumbling over your lame joke.

9. Rely solely on the teleprompter. Like any computer, it will fail you at some critical juncture.

10. Fake emotion. It's always obvious if you're not genuine. 

11. Not cross your legs when your set is made of clear plexiglass and the camera shows everything under the desk. And have your mother in law call you out on it later. Thank God for pants.

These are all things, by the way, that I've done. Minus jizzum. Working on my issues though. It's like riding a bike; you don't get better unless you do it.