Hoodrat Rules

One more word about the golf tournament this year: What is it about celebrities and athletes and celebrity athletes that brings out all the hoodrat hoochie mamas?

Add sunny weather and a sandy beach and it's Jersey Shore: Lake Tahoe edition. GTL = Girls, Tees, Look At Me!

Here are the Hoodrat Rules of Operation:

1. It's OK to wear a thong bikini bottom and mesh top that only goes down to your navel. While walking around a golf course.

2. The blonder, the better.

3. Short shorts and spike heels are appropriate attire for the course. Nevermind each sinking, limpy step.

4. Hound every man who is holding a golf club. Chances are, he's rich.

5. If your midriff ain't showing, you have no team spirit.

6. Bright colors help attract attention.

7. Lots of make up day and night to make your eyes pop.

8. Orange is an acceptable skin color.

9. Accept the fact you will be part of an entourage of hoodrats. Your one on one conversational skills are not why he's into you.

10. The relevance of the celebrity/athlete/celebrity athlete's height is inversely proportional to his riches. In other words, short dudes with money can attract a bevy of tall chicks.

11. If he was big in the late 80's, that's good enough for you.

12. There should be nothing subtle about you or what you're after.