Reasons It Sucks to Buy a House in the Bay Area

We are considering becoming California homeowners. I have a stomachache. The two things are definitely related.

1. You will be instantly poor.

2. You will remain poor. 

3. The price of your house here could buy a small island somewhere in the Pacific.

4. In 48 other states, your down payment would be enough cash to buy a mansion straight up. With a pool.

5. Your husband starts talking gibberish about trying to pay off the house as SOON as POSSIBLE because BABE over 30 YEARS it will be like 8 MILLION DOLLARS.

6. You lose the flexibility of being able to drop everything and move to Hawaii. Or just hang out without a ginormous mortgage.

7. You have to care about school districts.

8. Property taxes are tens of thousands of dollars. Per year. 

9. You look at a gazillion photos on Trulia, RedFin and Zillow and everything starts to look the same. Granite, wood floors, kitchen cabinets that are too dark or too light. Carpet from the 90's. 4 poster beds in the master bedroom that no one should ever sleep in, much less post photos of online. Mega mansions where the only thing in the playroom is an alphabet mat. 

10. You become anchored to one place. Which was fine back in the day when you had a great job, a great pension, and long term security. Nowadays, everything is so...contingent.

11. You don't have a crystal ball to tell you your house will be a good investment.

12. You saw what happened after the frenzy in 2007. You still see it happening.

13. You're picky as a mother and it's really hard to find something "perfect." And when you're spending this kind of ridiculous money, you kind of feel like "perfect" isn't too much to ask for.

14. Your American Dream has shifted to value flexibility and cash in the bank as much or more than stability and a fatty house.

15. You have a nice landlord and you don't have to pay for anything that goes wrong.

16. You feel like there's no clear "right" decision.