Labor: Part 3 (Warning: Placenta Photos Ahead)

Just like with Emmy, Dessy was sunny side up. It's not impossible to come out face up, but it's not the path of least resistance either. The preferred exit route involves the baby looking down. So we try shifting to my side and to my hands and knees to see if we can get Dessy to flip. She eventually does, to face sideways. But by the time she comes out at 12:14AM on 2-12-12, she is facing down. And all that twisting has conveniently gotten her all wrapped up in her umbilical cord, which is around her neck.

They call that a nuchal cord. But thanks to the expert skillz with a z of my OB, she's unwrapped in a jiffy and scores a 9 on her Apgar. That means she's ready to rumble. I feel like she didn't cry nearly as loud as I remember Emmy yowling, and when I get to see her little smushed up newborn face, I instantly think, "She looks so different from Emmy." She's lighter, her head is not nearly as huge, or YOOOGE as the Donald would say, and her face is longer, with a slightly higher and pointier nose. Her eyes are not the same round, dark brown circles that Emmy's were. She is a bonafide different person!

I don't know what I really expected but it is the moment I'd been waiting 40 weeks and 3 days for. The Big Reveal. After confirming all the toes and fingers and just general overall healthiness of Dessy, the next best news from my doctor was, "Vicky, no laceration." Those were the happiest 3 words I'd heard since the beginning of this entire process. 

NO LACERATION. Translation: Your hoo ha is intact. Swollen as a motherfather but no rips or tears or cuts or stitches needed. Major departure from the first one with her 99th percentile head barging its way out. Dessy and my doctor somehow made the transition without shredding me up. WOOT to the WOOT WOOT!

What wasn't so WOOT worthy: the placenta from hell. So after delivering the good part (baby), the doctor also has to deliver the placenta (raw meat looking sac that kept baby alive, vital but not as cute in a onesie.)

Mine came out just fine. But not in one piece. Even though it looks pretty darn complete in this picture:

Yeah, not so cute in a onesie. But mission critical, chock full of nutrients, and certainly edible. Placentas have even inspired their own recipes. I thought, for a brief minute, about keeping mine and getting those capsules made but I didn't really plan ahead so I just took some pictures for memories' sake. 

And to totally GROSS YOU OUT. BAM! Happy 2012 Blob Readers! Your life is complete. 

In any case, my uterus didn't want to let all of the placenta go at once. It wanted to retain some of the bloody organ. That meant the doctor and nurses had to go back in, gouge out bits that were still stuck, and yank them out. Followed by more intense pushing on my abdomen to make sure my uterus spit up all the placenta it was trying to hold onto. Does that sound like fun or what? 

That was also a new experience this second go round. The whole "additional placenta hanging out past its welcome." Como se dice, "Awkwardddd."

But eventually my placenta, whom I'll call Elvis, left the building.